How to Overcome Low Self-Esteem and Value Your Self-Worth

During our life, we have often had to deal with a multitude of problems, which have affected us psychologically and caused very important sequels. Our way of thinking is then affected, and the same applies to  the image we have of ourselves, which has an influence on self-esteem, because we feel inferior or unable to overcome obstacles that stand against our life.

Self-esteem is self-worth, which is built up throughout our lives, especially during adolescence. To have a low self-esteem is not to see oneself as one really is. Thus, low self-esteem rhymes among others with self-accusation, polarized thinking or emotional reasoning. It is very difficult to overcome the low self-esteem. However, there are techniques, methodologies and other ways to change the way we think and enable us to have better self-esteem.

Low self-esteem can affect not only our emotions, but also our health and our daily lives, as it prevents us from experiencing success. In addition, having low self-esteem can hinder our education, career, as well as our relationships with others. A low self can lead to sadness, melancholy, depression, shyness or other equally negative feelings.

For example, to have a better self-esteem, it may be good to stop comparing oneself to others, because by comparing ourselves to our loved ones or those around us, we completely forget our identity. There will always be people who will do better than we do, so there is no point in living according to others, comparing to them, or aiming for the same goals as they do. You have to have your own identity and set your own goals to achieve.

To have a better self-esteem, we can also change our way of seeing things and turn the negative into positive. Life will always be punctuated with obstacles and difficult problems to solve, but we can also see it as a lesson that will help us understand life in a better way.

Finally, it is also important to accept yourself and feel good about yourself. You have to accept your body, your way of being, and what you have.

It is important to set goals, a personal strategy to overcome the fears that are inside us and to love ourselves a little more … and therefore, to have a better self-esteem.

How to achieve success by freeing yourself from low self-esteem?

How can we attain anything if, at the same time, we think deep down we do not deserve it? How can we do anything while we say to ourselves that we are not able to do it or that we are not entitled to it? It is the terrible contradiction imposed on us by the lack of self-esteem.

It is indeed thanks to self-esteem that we recognize our value, that we can face the difficulties and give our existence the colors it deserves. But how do we get there if we miss it?

What is self-esteem or lack of self-esteem?

Imagine that you have little money in the bank; this lack enjoins you not to incur significant expenses, and not to foresee holidays or consequent purchase. You must inevitably restrict yourself. When you lack self-esteem, you live with the feeling that you cannot invest in anything. You have little or no reserve to support you to advance in life.

Self-esteem is the capital you need to progress, to be able to bet on yourself and your abilities. Indeed, self-esteem develops through the recognized small or large successes that you achieve throughout your life because they demonstrate your ability to succeed in a number of areas. They give you the feeling of your personal worth. Self-esteem and self-confidence enable you to develop the boldness, fearlessness and courage you need to succeed. The less esteem a person feels for themselves, the more they will tend to believe that he/she has nothing to bring to others or to the community, and that he/she is unable to succeed.

Yet we all have an intrinsic value linked to our very nature as human beings; we all have abilities that we need to learn to use to discover that they are there and that they are part of us. If we do not learn to use them and therefore to discover what we are really capable of, we live with the idea that we are “good for nothing”, that we cannot achieve anything positive and that we do not deserve to succeed or have what we want.

However, everyone has the right to happiness and success; it is not even a right but a fact. Unfortunately, because of this low self-esteem, we do not allow ourselves to succeed or be happy. In fact, we can even completely obscure this idea so it seems unthinkable.

Lack of self-esteem and abuse

The low value we place on ourselves because of lack of self-esteem gives us the feeling that we have little value and that we do not deserve to have a fulfilling life. Lack of self-esteem pushes us into unrewarding relationships, a job in which we do not flourish. The mistreatment we suffer from others – mockery, humiliation, physical abuse, etc. – come from the negative self-image we have of ourselves, and such negative self-image prevents us from asserting ourselves in the face of our aggressors.

Lack of self-esteem and success

As we have seen above, self-esteem is our capital. If we are aware of our successes, large or small, that we have accumulated throughout our existence, in the face of a failure, it will be easier for us to recover because we will know that we have the capacity to succeed. We will even be able to take advantage of a flip side; which is more difficult for the person who lacks self-esteem and who will see in this failure one more proof of his incapacity to succeed. It is not necessary to have achieved feats to have a good self-esteem, as we will see later. Just be aware that we have capabilities, that we have used them many, many times, that we are counting far more successes and successes than we think.

How to develop self-esteem

Relaxation at the service of self-esteem

To free oneself from the lack of self-esteem, there is nothing better to start with than the practice of relaxation, especially if it is a self-concentrating relaxation. Why? Because the goal of this form of relaxation is to turn the consciousness towards oneself, in other words to be attentive towards oneself. This approach is very effective as it helps you see yourself from another angle and to establish a better relationship with yourself.  Regular practice of this form of relaxation will gradually create a more respectful bond with oneself and help increase self-esteem.

Count your past successes

As we have seen previously, the lack of self-esteem makes us underestimate the value of what we do, unable to see that we are much more capable than we think and that we have everything we need to succeed. Take the time to write down everything you’ve done in your life. You could separate different periods of your life, for example from your childhood up to 20, then from 20 to 40, and so on. Depending on your age, divide your life into 3 parts and write down what you have achieved during each part.

For example, when you have learned to ride a bicycle, when you have learned to read and count, your first degrees, etc. In short, write down everything that constitutes the big or small successes you have achieved. Do not trivialize them because each of these achievements prove that you are able to succeed and if it worked for these areas, it can certainly work for many other things. Just think about it. For each of these achievements, be proud of yourself, as you might have liked it when you were successful.

Self-help at the service of self-esteem

Positive affirmation is a very powerful practice that can greatly help you find or develop a healthy self-esteem. For this, put yourself in a state of receptive mode (mental relaxation) because the effect of positive affirmations becomes more powerful in such state.

When you feel well relaxed and at peace, calmly repeat: “I have the right to have a successful and happy life as much for me as for others”, “I have the right to … (put here your objective), “Everyone has the right to succeed.” Do this as often as possible with every imaginable variation. People who lack self-esteem have great difficulty in recognizing this right; they think they deserve neither to be happy nor to succeed.

Self-esteem a guarantee of success and happiness

How to be happy if we think we do not deserve it? How to succeed if we think we are not entitled to it? It’s simply impossible. Self-esteem is essential for anyone to have a happy and successful life from every point of view. Moreover, it makes us much more capable of loving and respecting others because respect for others begins with respect for oneself.